born . . . again

They say it hurts when you’re being reborn. Well I’ve been in a lot of pain. That’s why I called myself a phoenix. All my life I've felt the swift leaps from plane to plane…timeline to timeline. I’ve changed. And I have also remained a good deal myself. I’ve become more of it. And all I really want some days is to be healthy and strong and not alone. Being in solitude isn’t a complaint, it’s how I feel.

I have constantly felt like no one possibly feels like I feel. It feels like that now. And I feel the grief and joy and all the themes of transition. I weep for forward and pine for that which is leaving my hand like dust. And time is getting short and I feel my years getting long. Fated to keep hope alive in my most vulnerable times. Another rebirth.

Oh Theo, you darling phoenix. . .I see you.